Not everybody wants a relationship. Time constraints and the limited hours in a day often make it impossible to invest the kind of time and emotional energy needed to cultivate a relationship. So, casual encounters are a simple and straightforward answer. But these aren’t always easy to find.
The pandemic is cramping our style with bar closures in some states, and social occasions are experiencing the worst drought in recent memory.
Thank God for the Internet, right?! It’s a great way to meet like-minded singles, people who find themselves in the same quandary you do. Popular dating sites will bring you a selection of people near to your location who are also looking for no dating encounters.
The sites and who they cater to are varied, so you can select one geared towards your individual fetishes, lifestyle, and age group. We’re going to help you find the best among these sites.
Your motor running yet? Here are the nine best sites and apps!
Best Hookup Sites For Casual Dating & Sex In 2021:
- Tinder – Best Hookup App For Women
- Seeking – Best for Sugar Dating & Female to Male Ratio
- eHarmony – Ideal for Long Term Relationship
- Grindr – Dating App for Gay People
- Bumble – Best Casual Dating App
We dived in under the surface of these 9 sites and scored each on the following qualities:
- How easy or difficult it is to score on the site
- The value for money and cheap or free memberships
- The ratio of men to women
- The quality of the site’s search criteria
#1. Adult Friend Finder – Overall Best Hookup Site
Need an extra person or two in the bedroom? Adult Friend Finder is one of the first adult dating sites you should try. It’s a whole community of couples who are eager to swap partners. Or people who are looking for others to join in a fun threesome. And they have it all – erotic kinks, bisexual, straight, or vanilla – whatever your fantasy, Adult Friend Finder caters for it.
The site has more than 64 million users in the United States alone. Of these 64 million, it is estimated that at least 2 million are active users who use the site at least once a week, maybe more.
You can easily establish a hookup in their forums or chat rooms or have a video chat or send a private message. However, you feel most comfortable.
Most adult dating sites suggest matches based on your bio and interests. Adult FriendFinder matches people to your kink! That said, they do use an advanced search algorithm when they suggest potential matches.
You can register for free on Adult FriendFinder. So, explore first. See what’s on the menu or the smorgasbord. If one night stand is your poison, Adult FriendFinder is the most reliable place to start your search.
And an added bonus – the site is perfect for virgins too! If you’re prepared to let your standards relax a little – maybe settle for a 6 or 7, Adult Friend Finder will have you covered in a flash.
- Famous for hot-wife hookups, threesomes, and sharing couples
- More than 80 million users around the globe
- There are contests, webcams, and chat rooms to choose from
- Easy to find DTF people
- Seen as unethical affairs by people
- Too many ads
#2. Tinder – Best Hookup App for Women
Tinder has been around since 2012. It’s consistently been used and touted as one of the best hookup sites available.
It doesn’t enjoy the mega-success it surfed on a few years ago – its popularity has dwindled some – but it’s really only because other great sites started popping up around them. Ironically, many of these were built on Tinder’s success as a dating site.
Tinder still remains a brilliant connection point for like-minded, no-strings-attached individuals.
Tinder is overwhelmed by individuals expecting a one night stand. For the average user, this is a good thing, but also sometimes not so good. The options are astonishing, but the quality is often a little meh.
However, Tinder remains a top choice, an easy way to have a one night stand.
And it’s still great that you can use Tinder as an app and enjoy everything the platform has to offer for free. It’s a simple signup, and you’re a-for-a-lay!
Registration is lightning fast, and matches arrive even faster. The platform has excellent tech support and uses advanced algorithms. Tinder really saves a lot of time over the kind of online dating we were used to in the 90s. It’s user-friendly.
And, of course, it’s anonymous. So, you won’t be getting torrents of unwanted emails. Setting a date on Tinder is easy. The sting of initial rejection is removed from the occasion because it is anonymous – you won’t even know you’ve been left-swiped.
- Easier for women than men
- It set the standard a few years ago, it’s well-known, and it’s popular
- The interface is probably the best there is
- Careful – this one’s made for catfishing!
#3. Ashley Madison – Best Hookup App For Affairs
If you haven’t heard about Ashley Madison, you’ve either been living out in the sticks, or you’re a time traveler from a previous century. It creates a HUGE amount of buzz, primarily because it’s so notorious for encouraging affairs and also because it’s just plain awesome as a hookup site.
Initially, Ashley Madison was envisioned as a site for individuals who wanted to play casually with no commitment. Then married people started joining in droves. The site repositioned and has since expanded into a destination for those seeking to step out on their relationships and hook up with, well, anyone!
Both the Ashely Madison website and the app are great. The whole spirit at Ashley Madison is judgment-free. Everyone’s there for the same reason, and that reason is just dandy. It doesn’t matter who you are.
Your views and ethics may balk a little, but it’s hard to deny that Ashely Madison members are probably more sexually frustrated and eager for one-night stands than elsewhere.
While testing this site, we got more messages and meetups than anywhere else. And on average the members were more attractive too.
Ashley Madison reminds somewhat of an online nightclub. Women get in for free. They attract the guys. In this case, it’s excellent for the female to male ratio.
- It’s quick – REALLY quick to get you laid
- Plenty of users – which means plenty of choices
- It’s a really user-friendly environment
- The press constantly rips it a new one because it encourages affairs
#4. Seeking – Best For Sugar Dating & Female to Male Ratio
If your standards are high and only a 10 will do, Seeking could make it happen fast. The site is 100% set up for wealthy guys and willing ladies who want to trade their time for sparkly and shiny things.
If you’ve always fantasized about being a sugar daddy to a 10/10 bombshell, Seeking is for you. And if you’re a lady looking for a man who’s willing to drop stack upon stack for your affection and attention, Seeking is where you’ll feel at home.
Seeking started as a site for sugar daddies (or sugar mommas) and sugar babies to meet. A young, beautiful girl could supplement her allowance by providing you with the company. It’s still much the same, but now it really caters for no-strings-attached, short-term sexual flings.
The number one sales point for Seeking is the absolutely beautiful girls on this site. Not a mediocre profile in sight. If you’re bored with sifting through dull profiles on other sites, give Seeking a whirl.
Seeking hands you the key to some of the most gorgeous singles out there! And, bonus, most of them fancy older, wiser men. All you have to do is spend a little cash on them.
The site has more women than men – by far. This makes it completely unique in the world of dating sites. Most of the ladies on the site are college-age or just above, they’re completely into the party life, and they have neither the time nor inclination for a monogamous relationship.
Remember, the ladies can determine the value of a night on the town.
There’s no such thing as pay to play here – it’s not a hooking site. But DO know, just because you’re going on a date, it doesn’t mean you’re getting laid.
- Background checks are available on the site.
- It’s primarily a site for sugar babies and sugar daddies – know that
- The women are REALLY attractive
- It has the highest female to male ratio of any site – BY A LONG SHOT
- It’s a given that a guy has to spoil a lady if he expects sex
- The site has been known to attract prostitutes
#5. eHarmony – Ideal for Long Term Relationship
eHarmony is all about relationships. It was founded by Dr. Neil Clark, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert.
They’ve developed an advanced compatibility engine over the years that narrows each user’s matches down to very accurate levels.
Again, the site is about creating serious and long-term bonds. If you’re trying to find a hookup with just casual sex here, you’re going to be a fish out of water.
The gender split on eHarmony is around 50/50. And since its inception in 2000, it has grown its user numbers to around ten million. That’s a LOT!
Recent reports would have it that the site makes around 15 million connections worldwide every day and that connections made on the site have led to 600 000 weddings over the past twenty years.
eHarmony is the go-to platform if you want to date to put a ring on it. Serious, long-term commitment are the keywords here. Dating to get some attention or to not be alone on a Saturday night is not big here!
And they were the first site to address the stigma of online dating. They went very Sex in the City with their initial ad campaigns and brand positioning.
Technology now makes it happen. You get to meet people you never knew existed. This opens up your dating pool significantly with eHarmony, specifically when you bear in mind that most everybody here is looking for a relationship. So, nobody wastes anybody else’s time.
And users keep coming back. eHarmony ranks top and has been said to be responsible for up to 4% of marriages in the United States alone. That’s not counting territories outside of our borders. Phenomenal, actually!
So, if you’re after something more long-term, eHarmony has the pedigree, the man-to-woman ratio, the user numbers, and the success stories.
- They have a HUGE member base
- The gender split is about even
- The profiles are as detailed as they get
- Their compatibility and matching system is probably the best and most experienced one in the segment.
- Their track record as a departure point for relationships and marriages is unequaled.
- It’s nearly fake-free and bot-free
- It has a video dating feature – pandemic, remember?!
- Subscriptions aren’t cheap
- Limited search options – they prefer to search for you rather than let you do it for yourself.
- The sign-up is laborious – though it bears fruit later in the game
- Communication methods on the site are staid
#6. No Strings Attached – Hookup App For Casual Sex
Mostly, hookup sites have skewed rations from men to women. That’s if you’re a guy. The ladies continue to be spoilt for choice.
No Strings Attached turns that on its head. Here, around 70% of users are women, and around 30% are men. The site has a global presence, but the majority of the members live in the United States – and that figure currently stands at around one and a half million individuals.
The platform is similarly non-judgmental to Ashley Madison, and it welcomes just about everyone. Single, married, men and women, whether you want to play online or in person, it really doesn’t matter.
The site is designed for those wanting affairs. And, of course, for those who have an affair fetish. The features are ideal for that goal, including the options to turn profiles on and off in an instant and a tool that allows for the creation of private networks.
But that’s not to say the site doesn’t cater for quick and easy hookups. It DOES. And it does so well! The success ratio of this site, according to Internet-wide reviews, is fantastic. So, it’s definitely worth a bit of your time.
The live webcams are popular, and the majority of members actively use them. You have to be over 18 to join. The average age of women on the site is between 25 and 34 years—the average age of the guys – 55 years or more.
- The matching system is unusually good for a hookup site
- Navigation on the site is secure
- The site security is like Fort Knox
- Want to change your password to keep others out of your biz? Good luck. It ain’t easy here …
- Where’s the mobile friendly?
- Where’s the mobile app?
#7. Grindr – Dating site for Gay People
Grindr is for gay hookups what Tinder is for straight. Wait, that’s probably the wrong way around. Grindr was first, and Tinder followed.
Anyhoo, if you’re gay, bi, bi-curious, or trans and you want a no-strings-attached hookup, Grindr is your app. And, come on, if you’re a gay guy in the LGBTQ+ community, you’ve heard of it. Probably used it, right?!
Grindr is not just an average dating app. Those are so last year. There is an understanding on the platform that the main goal is, was, and remains casual sex.
You’re not given profiles to swipe on the app. You get pages full of sexy thumbnails – tap a picture to expand, and if you feel the connection, chat away.
No mess, no fuss.
There are around 3.6 million daily active users on Grindr. And that is in 196 countries! It really is the largest, all-male mobile hookup network in the world.
It launched in 2009, and since then, it has grown to become an essential part of users’ daily lives, perhaps even more so than gay bars and online dating sites. And with the pandemic, its popularity is soaring again.
The Grindr app is free, but membership does have its benefits. $25 per month gives you reams of Grindr membership benefits.
- The app design is GREAT
- The app is trusted
- The app is popular
- Customer service sucks
- Gay is great, but other LGBTQ+ options aren’t
#8. Reddit Dirtyr4r – Best Hookup Sub-Reddit
Reddit Dirtyr4r has over 450 000 members actively posting personals. Sure, there are some bots and even some spam, but they’re also plenty of companions seeking all kinds of hookups, probably right around the corner from you.
Finding love in the 21st century may not be easy; that’s true. But getting laid is easier than it’s ever been before. Sure, you can take the traditional route. Hang out at a bar. I hope you get lucky. But life is changing. The pandemic has seen to that.
Dating apps and websites might help people find lasting connections in the digital world. But if you’re looking for less formal, less polite ways to hook up, no-nonsense hookup forums on Reddit may be just for you.
/r/randomactsofblowjobs may just be the most incredible subreddit for hookups ever! It has more than 53,000 subscribers, and the rules of engagement are hyper-specific. You post your age, what you’re looking for, a short description, and your sexual identity. That’s it!
Then you set up camp near to your inbox and wait. It may be archaic, but it’s real, it’s direct, and it’s to the point.
And above all, it WORKS!
They’ve got something of everything and something for everyone. MILFs, swingers, virgins, you name it. And it’s 100% FREE!
No signup is necessary, but if you decide to take advantage of the Reddit perks, the process is a breeze. And there are SO many subreddits to explore! If cybersex tickles your fancy with a feather, it’s there. Something more serious? Sure thing. There are groups that will meet your EXACT needs.
Connections are made by posting your own and replying to the posts of other users.
- Reputable and very popular
- So many subreddits to explore
- No signup is necessary
- Some bots and spams are there.
#9. Bumble – Free Hookup Site For Women
Bumble takes a different approach. Here the woman is queen. She gets to make the first approach. Then only can a guy respond. Sure, guys can heart a profile, but NOTHING else. Everything about the first contact is up to her.
The endless amount of time you waste making polite chat you make with guys you’re not that interested in after they’ve messaged you are no more. You can now invest time and effort in the guys you actually want to chat to or hook up with and cut out the noise. Because YOU’RE IN CONTROL!
You also have the option of what they call “message hints” in the app. This populates options for a woman to pick when she wants a smart introduction to a stranger – something that goes a little beyond “Hey, how are you doing!”
Many women comment that Bumble has given them new faith in online dating app and hookup sites. The experiences are nicer, the guys are nicer, and it wastes less time.
Feeling a bit out of your depth yet, lads?
Guys who struggle to make the first move may actually find this site great. But if you’re a guy that’s used to doing the legwork, and if waiting to be noticed isn’t your thing, you’ll become frustrated in a quick minute.
For women, this site is excellent. The control is fantastic. The site works for quick and easy hookups but also has an option to create friend profiles.
There’s even a Bumble Biz section to make use of business networking opportunities …
- Women are flying this plane
- Friends, networking, or hookups – you can find them all here
- You can dismiss profiles you don’t fancy and mark the ones you’re interested in
- Guys are wallflowers until they get noticed
- A communication closes after no contact for 24-hours
What to Do and What Not to Do on A Casual Hookup App?
Communication Is Everything
Everybody involved in the hookup HAS to be upfront and honest about all their intentions at all times. If not, this will be awkward and horrible for all involved.
No Love Without A Glove
Pack your supplies—nothing like arriving without the right gear. Safe sex is key, and protection should be used at all times. This is non-negotiable.
Consensual or Not at All
If you’re unsure, ask—every time.
Speak About What You Like
Ask, and ye shall receive. Remain quiet, and the fantasy will die with you.
Go Ahead, Be A Gentleman
It doesn’t matter how freaky-deaky things get; there’s simply no substitute for being a gentleman.
10 Tips to Keep Safe on Dating Sites
Horror stories abound. Movies and television series have been made about them. Now, wait, that doesn’t mean you have to abandon ship and give online dating or hookups a wide berth – not at all.
It does mean that you have to apply some level of common sense and be aware that your safety and that of your date come first.
1. Make Sure You’ve Done Your Research
It’s probably not even necessary to mention this – it’s the 21st century, and it’s as natural as brushing your teeth – but Google your date first. Avoid dates with first names like Jeffrey and surnames like Dahmer, if you can.
The bottom line is, have at least some background information on who you’re meeting outside of what the person told you about themselves.
Or what you’ve read on their online profile. People lie. In fact, all people lie. See if you can get some verification of what is real and what is not before you venture out.
Facebook is good. So is Instagram.
2. Try to Use a Google Voice Number
You can get a free Google Voice phone number here. Use it instead of your own. It’s just one extra layer of safety.
With the related Google app, you’ll be able to check calls, messages, voicemails, etc., without handing out your real number until you’re absolutely ready to do so.
3. Have A Good Old Video Chat Before You Meet Face to Face
FaceTime, Hangouts, Facebook, Skype – make your pick. You have SO many choices. Get at least a glimpse of your date before meeting them for the first time.
It reduces the catfishing risk substantially, and you’ll know who to look out for when you arrive. It beats standing around and looking lost.
4. Have A Voice Call Or Two Before Meeting
For a while, I thought this one sounded too obvious to include. But then, things often happen fast, especially on hookup sites and apps.
Old school is good here – you’d be surprised how many voice cues one picks up on when you’re chatting to (especially) a stranger on the phone. Things can be hidden in texts, just like they can be in written profiles. But a voice gives a lot away.
5. Self-Drive, Uber, Or Bus, Please.
Stay loose and stay independent on the first date. Don’t accept the invitation to share a ride. You don’t want to give away where you live yet, not until there’s the relevant level of trust anyway. And by driving yourself or using other means of transport, you remain in control.
6. Go Public Before You Go Private.
Public is good in the beginning. A restaurant is good. So is a coffee shop or a bar. If you’re really unsure, ask a friend to lurk anonymously at a nearby table, ready to spring into action on the off chance something goes wrong.
Make friends with the bartender – let him or her know you’re on a first date, and ask them to keep an eye. Bartenders are great this way, and they have an eye for spotting dubious characters.
It was interesting to find out some bars even have secret drink orders for situations JUST like this. If you ask for an Angel Shot in one establishment, for instance, that cues the staff something is out of kilter.
7. Share the Details with A Friend or Family Member
Give someone all the facts you have about your date. Put it in an envelope, seal it, and give it to a friend. They can always return it, sealed, after the date. It’s just always a better idea if someone knows where you are and who you’re with, especially if there’s a stranger in the mix.
8. Be Light on The Personal Details
That’s the thing about a new date, isn’t it? We want to share. We want to tell them everything. Don’t. Not yet.
Tread lightly on the personal details. Avoid speaking too much about places you regularly visit, where your family lives, what your birthday is, and so on. Get comfortable first. Make sure the tide is right before you go for a swim!
9. Carry Something Like Mace
Gosh, it sounds like 21st-century dating is more like a Mad Max movie than a romantic encounter. But it pays to be aware of your own safety.
Carry some kind of self-defense spray. You don’t need something that will permanently disable or disfigure someone when they threaten your safety – just something to make them stop and think while you get away.
There are many pepper spray and mace varieties on the market that will do just that for you. Carry one. Some even fit on a key-ring.
10. This Is One Time You Need to Watch What You Drink
A rule of thumb should be to only drink when you’re in a crowd with people you trust. Or one-on-one with somebody you know well and trust.
A first date or hookup can easily go badly wrong. But it’s also a place where a few drinks can break the ice and make the conversation more comfortable.
Be aware at all times. Less is more in this case. And that pretty much goes for everything!
FAQs About Hookup Sites and Apps
Here are answers to questions you’ve been asking in your head or questions you probably haven’t even thought about asking yet, but other people have.
Q. When I’m Setting Up My Profile on A Dating Site or Hookup Site, How Many Pics Should I Use?
Four is probably golden. No more than six. Remember, it’s human nature to judge pictures. And to build ideas about a person around a picture you see. Rather leave something to the imagination. Stop the person from making assumptions. Let them chat to you instead of making up their mind based on images that tell them little.
Q. How Much Do Looks Matter on Hookup App- and Dating Sites?
Looks matter – that’s an unfortunate given. The first thing anyone will look at on dating or hookup sites is a picture. Then they’ll skim the rest of the information.
Make sure you use good pics. Remember, many people, yours truly included, don’t photograph well. Don’t let that be the beginning and end of your online dating or hookup experience. Your self-confidence will carry you to victory!
Q. What About Using A Ghostwriter to Write My Dating or Hookup Site Bio?
Don’t do that! Your personality and your character will be totally lost in the translation. That will make the experience of the first date awkward. And the first date is EXACTLY where you want to shine, so you don’t need anything to run interference with that.
Q. When Am I Over-Eager on A Platform or App?
Excitement is good. Always. Nothing wrong with expressing both when you’re interested in someone. But DON’T come across as stalkerish. 24 hours between replies are good for a beginning.
Obviously, these rules are different on hookup sites …
In Conclusion – Which Hookup Site Should You Go For?
Dating is not just dating anymore. Whether you’re a 78-year old wanting to relive your college years or an 18-year old dipping your toe in the water for the first time, there’s a hookup site that caters EXACTLY to your needs! It’s now just a question of finding it.
That said, not all adult dating sites are created equal, just as we aren’t all created the same. Taking your hookup habits onto a site like eHarmony is a recipe for rejection and disaster. While looking for a long-term commitment on No Strings Attached is not going to work either.
Horses for courses!
We’ve given you a bit of insight into the sites that are available, what they do best, what they don’t do well, and what they don’t do at all. Your ideal site that will put your hookup or dating experience within your reach is in among them somewhere. We’re sure about that. From the list that we created of some of the best hookup sites, we have chosen Adult Friend Finder, Tinder and Ashley Madison as our top three favorites.
Just remember, whether you’re hooking up or looking for a relationship, stick to good manners, acting with class, even in the heat of the moment, and walk away with your head held high.
The concept of a walk of shame is SO last century!
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